Mother's Day can be a wonderful time of year for parents, children and grandchildren. But after a divorce, parent-specific holidays like Mother's Day, Father's Day and even Grandparents' Day can be a source of confusion and frustration. We'll take some time in this blog post to discuss some ways you can make Mother's Day special, no matter what your family's situation may be due to your divorce.
Celebrating Mother's Day Has NOTHING To Do With Your Divorce
According to Our Family Wizard website, there are specific things parents can do to make Mother's Day an enjoyable event. The first step is to remember that moms were moms long before your marriage and divorce. By separating out the frustration you may have with your spouse, it is no excuse for ignoring what the day means to all the mothers involved. One way to do this is to make sure your parenting schedule has your kids spending time with their mom on Mother's Day, and with their dad on Father's Day. While this may seem like a no-brainer, it is often overlooked when parents set up a schedule for every-other-weekend patents sometimes forget to account for these holidays. So check your calendar; if your kids aren't scheduled to spend this weekend with their mom, switch weekends.
If it's just not possible to get the kids together with mom, help them facilitate a telephone call or video call. Don't assume that teenagers will know how to do this. The fact is, grandparents today are more likely to use Skype and video calls than adolescents and teens, who communicate with their thumbs on a tiny keyboard. Parents can work out a time to video-call ahead of time and get everyone around the screen.
Start something new
If your kids are old enough to understand, talk to them about starting a new tradition on Mother's Day. Perhaps going together to a flower shop to let them pick out a bouquet to hand their mom. Because it falls in the middle of a beautiful spring month of May, the weather will usually cooperate for a picnic. Are there any special concerts or plays in town? In other words, make the effort to show your kids that their mother still deserves to be treated with kindness.
Show respect for parenthood
We understand how frustrating divorce can be, particularly during the first couple of years. Emotions will still be raw. But the fact that your ex-spouse is the mother of your child(ren) must take precedence over your anger and frustration. Mother's Day is a time to show respect for motherhood. Go the extra mile to make sure your kids get a card and gift for their mom. After clearing it ahead of time, set up a nice dinner reservation for her with the kids. If your relationship can stand it, even ask if it would be appropriate to sit down together as a family again at a nice restaurant.
Nobody is saying you have to try to reconcile with your ex and remarry. But wouldn't this Mother's Day be a good time to start getting past some of your shared frustrations with each other?